The War on Caffeine
So in a few previous posts and talks with people, I’ve mentioned that there seems to be a growing war on caffeine. And you all called me crazy. But, it turns out, I’m not as crazy as you all thought:
[Richland,] Washington Mayor Proclaims March “National Caffeine Awareness Month”
In this nice press release, we get these quotable gems:
Marina Kushner, founder of the Caffeine Awareness Alliance, which sponsors the event, stated “We are delighted that the mayors are helping us get the message out to the public about the dangers of caffeine consumption.”
The issue of caffeine is a serious one as “caffeine consumption can pose a significant hazard to health and longevity,” as consumption of the dangerous drug is “linked to heart disease, pancreas and bladder cancer, hypoglycemia, and central nervous system disorders.”
So apparently, this drug that nearly everyone in America (except mormons) consumes causes heart disease, cancer, hypoglycemia (which I don’t think is a thing, but ok) and central nervous system disorders. In other words, it’s just horrible for you.
It’s not like there’s actual science that says Caffeine Prevents Liver Disease, Caffeine Prevents Parkinson’s Disease, Caffeine Prevents Cholesterol Gallstone Formation, or Caffeine Helps Premature Babies Breathe.
Now, I don’t want to link to it because I don’t want that internet bit to happen whereby they get more popular when I link to them, but these people have a website: www.caffeineawareness.com. If you go there, first you’ll get thirsty by lookin at all the delicious coffee beans. Second, you’ll wonder why, on their front page, they’re trying to sell a book (oh wait…). Third, a whole MONTH for caffeine awareness? Martin Luther King only gets one day. Heck, George Washington doesn’t even have his own day — he has to share it with the other presidents. We only get 1 day of Christmas, 1 of Thanksgiving, and 1 to honor the tens of thousands of people who have died at war for our country. But a whole freaking month for caffeine awareness? You know, I wish that if I wrote a book, I could get mayors of cities to do a month-long government-funded promotion. I’d rather enjoy that. If you weren’t convinced this is a real war, their awesome 1997-esqe scrolling headline is elated at the fact the “Anti-Caffeine Movement Migrates South!”
Now for today’s Common Sense lesson: Caffeine is a drug. It has good benefits, and it may have side effects in some people. But, by and large, the benefits outweigh the badness. They outweigh to such a degree it’s not even a controlled substance. Therefore, our government, which forces people to wear seatbelts for “their own good,” which forces you to give over your state-issued ID and sign a contract to buy over-the-counter cold medicine, doesn’t think caffeine is dangerous enough to warrant even a little control.
To the mayor of Richland and the mayor of Redmond: Congratulations, you’ve been duped by a conman. You’ve spent taxpayer money to promote a book. Congratulations. I have some swampland in Florida to sell you…
10 Comments
It seems that they let thier domain expire.
hypoglycemia.. real AND scary (as in experiencing the symptoms can be scary). I think my symptoms have more to do with the lack of sugar in my energy drinks (sugar free versions) than the caffeine content though.
According to several people, hypoglycemia, while a real thing, is incredibly rare. A few people I know say the only real hypoglycemia comes when a diabetic takes too much insulin for their blood sugar level and the levels become dangerously low. It’s a serious and emergency condition. There’s a large body of people who think functional hypoglycemia — the “feeling tired, etc” version — isn’t the same thing. Allowing people to believe it’s a blood sugar problem when it’s probably a temporary diet problem can make the problem worse, or actually lead to diabetes.
Idiopathic Postprandial Syndrome is the common “I feel like crap and can’t concentrate” disease, coined in an attempt to reserve the word hypoglycemia for proven bouts of dangerously low blood sugar (i.e., almost never).
what they need to be promoting is “EVERYTHING IN MODERATION”…this goes for Caffeine, Fast Food, Alcohol, etc… We don’t need a month for Caffeine awareness. We need people to learn how to take care of themselves…Care about taking care of themselves…
It’s same as the saying “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Everyone needs to stop pointing fingers at the caffeine and start taking responsibility for their actions.
There is actually such a thing as non-diabetic hypoglycemia. My brother and I have it, but it’s mostly found in Native Americans (like my brother and I) along with diabetes (like half my family), in massive quantities. Diabestes and other “sugar troubles” are so widespread it’s often the subject of jokes. Still nothing to do with the wonderful and almighty caffeine, just sugar.
But what caffeine can help (amongst other things) are migraines. Migraines are still not fully understood by science, and the symptoms often vary from person to person. I and a former roomie of mine have migrains, and while we have different symptoms,we both took the same medication. Unfortunately, it was expensive and we were only supposed to take it once the symptoms started, and they often did little good. We were both told it was dangerous to up the dosage by our doctors, even if we were in agony.
Upon reading up on the contents, studying medical dictionaries and whatnot, we discovered that we were essentially taking caffeine pills with some healthy supplemental stuff added in. So for two weeks we drank Diet Pepsi (my hypoglycemia is controlled via pasta! ^_^) at least 5 times a day, supplemented with a few cups of crazy-healthy tea. Guess what? we went from 4/5 migraines a week to almost none. She had 1 migraine, but upon taking some No-Doz and what now is termed a Caffeine Nap, she was fine. I haven’t had to take my meds since. I admit, migraines do creep up every now and again but I space out occurances by weeks now, not hours. Last time I had one my husband handed me a piece of Jolt gum and a cup of Diet Pepsi. Today I try to drink 1 cup of white tea (really good for you) and at least 4 cups of something wonderful, spaced evenly throughout the day. If I’m not feeling well from some other reason, such as flu, I make sure to drink more tea and chew some Jolt gum. The migraines like to kick you when you’re down.
Granted, I don’t recommend this sort of experimentation for everything, but if nothing worked on a headache that usually hurts so bad your hair hurts (I know, sounds crazy, but it’s true) I don’t see harm in trying. Besides, nothing wrong with having a steady supply of caffeine in the bloodstream, right?
Caffeine has saved lives! All those people I talk to after a nice lovely cup of coffee.
I have had recent heart problems. AF to be exact. Caused in part due to excess caffeine. I have been drinking between 8 and 15 cokes a day. Began to have numerous dizzy/feel like fainting spells. On March 4th I had in excess of 35 spells in a 3 hour period. After reading several articles on health on the internet, I came to the conclusion that Cokes with caffeine were part of my problem. Went to caffeine free Cokes and immediately had very few dizzy spells. Still have not solved the problem entirely but have helped it. Have also had to begin taking blood thinner to prevent possible blood clots and possibly having a stroke. Caffeine may be good for the majority of the population but can be dangerous and deadly to others. Who really knows.
HELLO,,,I CAME ACROSS THIS WEBSITE BY ACCIDENT,,,I WAS LOOKIN FOR INFORMATION AND STATISTICS ABOUT CAFFENINE. BUT, ANYWAZ MY DAD HAS HYPOGLYCEMIA AND I WOULDNT SAY THAT IT’S RARE. IT’S BASCIALLY THE OPPOSITTE OF DIABETES. SOME TIMES MY DAD CRASHES AND NEEDS SUGAR IMMEDIATELY. IT’S SERIOUS AND VERY REAL
Overdose on it… go take 1gm-to-1.5gm of caffeine (Walmart sells 90 tabs @ 200mg each for $5). You will probably live, but you will never be the same again.
Given the widespread availability of ultra-high-dose caffeinated beverages (200mg), many kids are overdosing on caffeine (their smaller bodies cannot tolerate as much as an adult).
Caffeine awareness is a good thing, as most people do not even consider it to be a drug.
Sure, get the prison industrial complex out of the drug business, but please do not ascribe E-D-U-C-A-T-I-O-N as intolerance.
I love the google ads that accompany this post: “Info- Caffeine find successful drug rehab programs”, and “Caffeine-Free Tea”
Now why would we want something like that?