Review: Howling Monkey
Everyone here at the EF branch offices have been all aflutter lately over the Howling Monkey. Not only because it’s the greatest name we’ve heard since Lucozade, but also because they’re so mysterious.
What is it?
I don’t know, the website is so cryptic! It must be a puzzle, like the Da Vinci code.
Whatever it is, it worked. I’m a sucker. I’ve been looking to get my hands on some of this for a while now so, needless to say, I was exceedingly happy to see my dear friend and colleague Oz walk in with a bag of Monkeys the other day. I got one can each of the Elixir, the Cola, and the Sugar-free Cola.
Energy Fiend! Always on point, so here’s a quick rundown:
First of all, I think the cans rock. They’ve got kind of an old-timey feel that manages to have some character without looking too contrived. I wouldn’t go so far as to use the word hip, but they certainly seem to be well-received by everyone I’ve shown them to.
The instructions are illustrated right on the front to eliminate any confusion:
Fig. 1- Just your average workaday monkey–not terribly unlike you or me–looking pretty ordinary, if not a bit enervated. But wait, what’s this?
Fig. 2- Drink it. It’ll make you feel better.
Fig. 3- W00t!!!!!
Succinct. I like it.
Being that I was already pretty juiced up at the time, I opted to put those bad boys on ice (actually, in my backpack) until the next day. I wanted a clean system so that I might avoid tainting the purity of this wondrous, effervescent, simian delight.
So, the verdict: perhaps this was a case of unrealistic expectations. I liked it, don’t get me wrong, but it was pretty average if you ask me.
The cola tastes just like cola. Now, I’m told that there’s a difference between Coke and Pepsi and I can confidently say that Howling Monkey tastes just like one of them. I can’t tell which. If you can, then you’re drinking too much of that crap. Knock it off before you get diabetes.
The sugar-free cola tastes just like sugar-free cola. See above and, seriously, lay off the soda. At least Howling Monkey gives you some B vitamins and Ginseng with your pound of sugar.
The elixir was the most interesting of the group. It’s quite tart–like, distractingly tart, but I know some people are into that–with an odd little bit of a caramel aftertaste. Very sweet though. Lighter in color than the cola. I liked it better than Monster, Rockstar, etc. I realize that’s hardly a ringing endorsement, but still, I’m just saying.
Overall, the Monkey gets a thumbs up. I would probably buy this in the future. If I had to complain, I’d have to say that the buzz was average. Maybe a bit short-lived, but these things are so subjective.
The can says it’s extraordinarily potent, which is a claim that I’d have to respectfully disagree with.
Potent, maybe. Maybe remarkably potent. Maybe slightly more potent than average, but certainly not extraordinary. Then again, I may be getting jaded.
Anyways, GIVE US THE FREAKING NUMBERS. The big fiend and I have been talking about this and he says he can’t find any real info on this stuff. Luckily for you all, he’s pretty knowledgeable and his guesses are pretty close. Look at how he nailed the infamous Redline mystery. So, he’s on it. You Howling Monkey guys could help him out though. He’s got enough crap to do as it is without having to reverse engineer your confounded drinks.
Recap: great name, great can, good taste, a little light on the, uh, “Revitalizing Blend”.
There you go.
23 Comments
do you have pictures?
when the shit will it go public!
Dude, it’s out. They didn’t send it to me. We bought it at a store.
Do you think that you can get the caffien content in them because its still one of the energy drinks that i keep buying the gas station out of. lol
Caffeine content comparable to that of Red Bull (this from the manufacturer). So I put it at about 150-160mg per 16oz can.
Hello Monkey Addicts! I work for the company and I can tell you this: It has 25% more caffiene than Wired 294 (294 milligrams of caffiene). The drink combines vitamin enhanced beverages with energy drinks; therefore, it’s the first of it’s kind, in this respect.
If you drink two back to back, it’s border-line disturbing - your body feels like it’s shaking but it’s not. If you are faint at heart, I don’t recommend it. If you love caffiene like we do, you’ll love it!
Now go and check it out - most stores should sell it at 2/$3!
@HowlingMonkeyGuy
Eh? I contacted McKenzie River Corporation (manufacturers) and they honestly said caffeine levels are “comparable to Red Bull”. But here you’re suggesting ~367.5 mg per 16oz can?
Why don’t you guys stop BSing and playing all the oneupmanship games and start listing caffeine content on the label?
And a suggestion to knock back ~700mg of caffeine in a hit is just plain stupid.
What part of “I don’t suggest it.” did you miss there?
For what it’s worth, I drank the three for the review and it didn’t really feel like 300+ milligrams. 160ish would probably sound more reasonable. I’m not calling you guys liars, but there were days when I had a Monkey and something else later. If it was that strong, I might have noticed.
What’s important though, is that it’s a pretty good drink regardless of how much is in it. I don’t judge every drink based on potency. If that was the case, we’d all be taking freaking Vivarin. It is what it is. Stronger doesn’t always equal better. 160 mg is plenty for most normal people.
garrett
yea its plenty for most normal people but when you have one almost every day your body gets used to the caffiene amount and then you will just have to drink more and more to keep yourself awake.
HowlingMonkeyGuy
I have had 4 of them in one day and 2 in the morning one right after another then 2 more around 12:30 and nothing really happened to me, and i even have a heart disorder and my doctors always say dont drink to much of it or you can die. well i havent stopped drinking it and it has not hurt me one bit.
yessss… i finally found it. i’ve been looking for this, and cocaine, for a while. so i walked out of the lion king on broadway a little while ago, and went into a nearby deli /liquor store for a soda, and there it was. howling monkey, cocaine, and red bull haha. so i grabbed 5 cocaines and 2 monkeys. freakin expensive. 3.50 each for the coke, and 3 each for the howling. i can’t wait till 2moro to try it
2 HowlingMonkeyGuy- how to contact your company? i need a looooot os monkeys…pls let me know: krasavella@mail.ru
I’ve only found this cola (and only one variety) at a single, obscure 7-11 store. It’s good because I find the “energy drink” taste to be DISGUSTING (fizzy robitussin taste just doesn’t work for me). I just wish it were easier to find!
..been drinkin monkeys for the past..say month month in a half maybe two..Grrreat drink agree with the energy “boost” not extrodinary..but does the job…But geeze…okay so the Trucks came and parked in front of the 7-11’s in my area huntington beach,ca…and the 7-11 by my house changed the price from 2.49 to 99cents and yeah…we bought em like crazy..and now..everywhere we go…there’re disappearing..GAH! save the monkeys!!
i live in southern ohio, and ive only seen the monkey once up by cincinnati. i cant find em anywhere! somebody pls help!
Pretty good stuff. The deli down the block from my office carries the cola-cola variety. Unlike a lot of energy drinks that don’t touch me(red bull, one of them), this did something, nothing amazing, but something. I think that it was because of the carbonation. So Yay! Monkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy!!!!!
Oh, and the can rocks! It’s got that creepy circus sideshow vibe.
Hats off to the monkey crew…this shit tastes great (elixir is best)
I love the bitterness…the cola is not bad, like a bitter pepsi
and it’s all over the place for $1 a can.
can’t beat that.
good product…wish you success.
I tried to Cola flavor once and thought it tasted basically like flat Coke; almost disturbingly so.
However, the Original Elixir is like liquid crack. I am in love with that stuff. And it’s only $0.99 everywhere around here (Grand Rapids, Michigan) and I know of several places that carry all four varieties. I’m glad to be blessed with its availability here.
I’ve also found a strangely addicting food-pairing with the Elixir: Rodeo Cheeseburger and fries from Burger King. Try it out sometime.
P.S. - I also won a bunch of free stuff from Howling Monkey Co. by signing up on their website.
OBEY THE MONKEY!
Found this stuff at Big Lots…I wish it was out there more…love the stuff! Love the website…When I first went there, I was hoping to be able to order it, or find a good place to buy (besides big lots). What I discovered, was maybe better? In any case the website is awesome…if only I could contact them….
Just want to add another find at Big Lots (Western PA area)…only found the Sugar-free cola thus far but hell, 60 cents a can, I’m all over it. Seem to be running out though.
If you have a Big lots around, that shit is like a treasure trove for energy drinks….Howling Monkey, Bookoo, Mad Joker, even the “I just licked a tree’s ass” Full Throttle mother is there…and some others, all 60 cents a piece.
the best great buzz no weird or hard come down great cola taste not thick or too sweet!!!!!!!!
Is this still out???, I love this stuff and all the places i know just randomly stopped selling them i use to get at least one every week day
Nice, now send some my way will ya?