Starbucks Barista Gets Angry: Yeah Me Too
The Starbucks Gossip blog has listed a truly impressive rant from a Starbucks Barista. The rant was posted on Craigslist which was then subsequently removed.
To all of you silly, sad caffeine addicts who line up like lemmings for your overpriced lattes every morning: there are some things you should know.
1. We are not your friends. We are usually not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly — because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don’t give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you’re doing because it’s a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they’re few and far between. If you have to think about it, you’re probably not one of them.
2. Oh, you work from home? We are not your water-cooler break. We may be the only humans you have interacted with for days, but do not expect us to be interested in your stupid home business or your racist, sexist, totally unfunny commentary. Get your drink and get out.
And it goes on…
…Quit bitching about the names of everything. Yes, there is a “tall” size. No, it’s not the smallest size – that would be the “short.” Somewhere along the line, it got dropped from the menu, but can still be ordered.
…and on…
Don’t… tell me how to make a drink. I know what goes into a mocha. You probably couldn’t make one if someone had a gun to your head.
Okay. I get the point. It’s time for someone to resign and get a different job – or go on a long holiday.
So… here’s my Starbucks rant.
Dear Starbucks,
I like my espresso. I like it made well. I used to get my coffee from a small and quirky independent coffee shop from a barista that did give a damn. In fact all three of the baristas that worked there just loved coffee. They loved drinking it, and they loved talking about it. And we got on famously.
Then one day you came to town Mr Starbucks. You bought up a huge corner location. It looked just like every other Starbucks outlet in about a million other places in the world. You arrived with your ridiculous portion sizes (yes including the inane “tall” which is actually the smallest on the listed menu). Your prices we’re so obscenely expensive that it was obvious I was paying for brand rather than product. With your buying power you probably get coffee cheaper than just about anyone else. But then, you’re greedy aren’t you?
Your barista looked up at me with a tired and bored gaze that was all too familiar. Now where have I seen that gaze before – that’s right – at McDonald’s. So I ordered some coffee. You made me hover around a small bar with a crowd of Starbucks groupies – the kind of people that walk around with their Starbucks takeout cup as if it were a badge of hip-ness.
You shouted at me when my drink was ready. I’m not deaf. I was only standing about a meter from you. But, that’s right, by then you’d already forgotten what I looked like.
Your coffee tasted like dishwater. Maybe it was a bad day, or maybe you were are bad barista. But at that price? You should have been serving it to me by the sip.
That quirky independent coffee shop? Well he decided to close his business about 6 months later. Maybe it was related to the huge Starbucks nearby – or maybe not.
I’ve never been back to you Starbucks. Despite seeing your brand virtually everywhere I look.
What is the attraction of drinking an overpriced coffee made by a barista that shouts at you?
Just last week I got my coffee from another regular joint. The barista was so obsessed with getting it right that she actually made me two different espresso’s and got me to pick out the best one — so she could get it right in the future.
That sort of service gets my heart a-fluttering (or perhaps that was the caffeine?)
Energy Fiend – Obsessed with caffeine good coffee.
46 Comments
Well Put Fiend, I can’t stand starbucks as an entity it only appears that they are finally getting to big for their own good. The first thing to go in a recession is the niceties, including people paying 3 bucks for a cup of burnt coffee.
Dark roast you say? hardly
I love your site, and check it often as a resource for my Caffeine Culture / Technology News Podcast The CaffiNation Podcast. http://www.caffination.com
Keep up the good work.
[...] Here’s one I got when I searched on “Starbucks” and “angry” [...]
My sister and I were frequent Starbucks customers-we are the nice people. The chick who has made our drinks the last few times was so busy chatting with her buddies and other customers coming in after us-and getting the mailman who came in after us his drink 1st that we wondered if she had forgotten us.
Well, she must have forgotten something-like maybe putting the whipped cream back in the fridge instead of leaving it out all morning long-we got food poisoning and suffered over 3 days with it!
After 4 years-no more Starbucks!
i agree with chex- i am also a starbucks barista and it is rather annoying to have someone special order their drink with ” soy, only two and a half pumps of mocha, no whip cream, half decaf, no foam, whole milk, double cup, add sleeve,blah blah blah…”….the list could go on and on. the bottom line is you ARE paying for overpriced crappy coffee that tastes just as bad as mccafe or gas station liquid sugar….but that doesnt mean that i want to make your drink a billion times just because you dont believe it tastes right.
but that also does not mean that i do not care- we have tons of regular customers that come into our store who tell us stories and stay in there for hours at times, and i am seriously interested in them and their lives. it has been on more than one occasion that i have bought a drink for a customer either because i like them or because they were having a bad day or just because i want to…and alot of my coworkers are the same way.
yes there are times when i get agitated at my job and i have to paste a fake smile on my face, but name one job that you enjoy one hundred percent of the time where you dont have to deal with several rude, racist, snobby, full of it customers and job politics and i will immediately quit starbucks to do set job.
it is not fair to completely write off starbucks without having been to one with a great, caring atmosphere..believe me they do exist.
oh, and a little afterthought, if your drink is wrong i will make it again and again to ensure that you are satisfied, but remember that each barista makes it differently and some of the extremely specific instructions that customers request can be really difficult…it is really hard to get all of the foam off of drink made with soy milk for example… so please dont get angry and yell that there is less than a millimeters worth of foam on your drink because it truly is frustrating and just leaves us exasperated for the customers to come
I say, its time Tully’s coffee kills off Starbucks.