Split 7″ Review: Sumseeds vs Mojo Mints
EF’s going punk rock! Actually, no. Actually, I’ve just been lagging on the reviews and when I saw that neither of these drinks were really drinks, I decide to combine them, you know…kill two birds and so forth. I innovate. I can’t help it. I’m compelled.
Mojo Mints
Mints with caffeine. Not enough though if you ask me. In fact, there’s no proper caffeine at all. Just guarana extract, some ginseng, taurine, and B12. I think this was a good idea that may have suffered a bit in the execution. 22mg of caffeine(from the guarana) per pill just isn’t going to make a dent for most of us. I got up to six mints at once and the effects were still negligible.
Mojo mints do not taste like mints. They do not taste like candy (they’re sugar free by the way). They don’t freshen your breath. They just leave an odd residue in your mouth and make your teeth hurt a little. Now, if it made me feel good, I’d be fine with that. These don’t do that though which makes them almost 100% useless. I wish it weren’t that way. I’d welcome something besides another generic drink with a lame slogan.
I had such high hopes.
For what it’s worth though, my esteemed colleague Oz loved these things. Per my previous statements regarding taste, he’s more than willing to endure a few seconds of the Invigorating Tri-Mint taste for the sake of an efficient buzz. He wants more Mojo Mints. He’s also totally delusional. In my professional opinion, what we are actually witnessing is less a testament to the power of the Mojo Mints and actually some strange interaction with his meds. Seriously, he swears that one mint sets him off. I don’t buy it, but just so you know, there’s that.
I gave these things to quite a few people and they were almost universally loathed. I even got bored of watching people wince at the taste as if it were that gag gum you get from the backs of comic books.
I give Mojo Mints a rating of: bad.
Sumseeds
Similar principal involved here except these are sunflower seeds and they have actual caffeine. Now, I’m a bit torn here because on one hand, I love me some caffeinated anything. On the other hand though, I really don’t like sunflower seeds. I’m not much for any high maintenance food in fact. Nuts, crabs legs, shrimp that aren’t properly cleaned and peeled, pretty much anything that I can’t eat without looking cool. I’m not down with any of that.
On top of all the work, sunflower seeds don’t even taste good. I’ve always been of the opinion that they are pretty much a pointless pain in the ass. Maybe it’s a technique issue. I don’t know.
Anyways, seeds in general suck. These seeds though, these Sumseeds, these things actually do what they promised. I don’t want to get too far off topic here, but there’s a little thing that we in the business like to call the Orobuccal method of administration that comes in to play here and it is pretty cool. It basically refers to absorbing a drug through the thin skin inside your mouth–transmucosal diffusion, if you will. So that being said, I could take a handful of these things and just suck on them for a bit and I could feel a rush come on almost immediately.
That’s great, and the best part is that I could play around with the dosage and just eat a few handfuls…handsfull…hands full…whatever, you get the idea…depending on the situation. I must say though that I couldn’t eat a whole bag in one shot just because of all the bloody salt. My lips were getting all chapped and raw (which is completely unacceptable) and I swear I could feel my blood pressure rising (also not cool, but not as bad as chapped lips). Seeds=salt though. I’m told that that’s just the way it is.
So, that’s the good part. This next bit is strictly my own opinion and I fully understand that many of you may not agree. Although these seeds do have caffeine, which is good, they are still every bit as messy and slobbery and salty and, well, uncouth as regular seeds, which is not so good. If that’s your thing though, then by all means, have at them. You’ll love’em. I’m just kind of a wuss.
RECAP!
Sumseeds = A for efficacy. C+/B- for choice of medium. I’d probably give these a shot again at some point in the future.
Mojo Mints = Not a bad idea, but one that needs work. I’d be willing to give Mojo Mints v2.0 a shot if they decided to take another swing at it.
Nice. Short and sweet and spouting half-assed, undeveloped ideas. Punk rock, indeed. If only I could have worked in some unwarranted aggression and more arrogance.
11 Comments
Last time I was chap-lipped and “suck”ing a “salty” “handfull” of something and I felt a “rush come”…I got a terible case of gonorrhea-of-the-pallet. Not fun. Not fun.
What be wit dis punc-tu-a-chun? Have too much. No can read it. No understand!
Man I gotta find me some of the sunflower seeds. O and writing sober is not much fun so feel free to keep laying on the commas if necessary.
I hope people don’t start getting Mojo and VoJo mints mixed up, because VoJo’s are f-ing good, as opposed to Mojo, which seems to be bad.
I,loves,me,some,commas,mmmmmmmmmmmm…,…,…I,actually, overuse, them, on, almost, every, school, paper, I, ever, write,,,…, :p,
You are def eating the seeds wrong, it’s much easier and you never get crap on your lips.
1. Place a seed in your left or right cheek.
2. Crack seed with teeth, not much, just enough. move seed to tongue area.
3. The seed will kind of fall away from the shell as you suck on it and soften up the shell.
4. Swallow seed.
5. Spit shell out or put in other cheek to spit out later.
Repeat with several seeds in mouth. Once you get the hang of it, it’s easy and kind of automatic. This is also the trick to driving late at night/when exhausted. The seeds keep you just busy enough to stay awake. Add the caffeine and you will be doing crazy road trips in no time.
I don’t know about you, but I liked the Mojo Mints. Bought them on eBay. I can detect a little ‘background’ taste of the other ingredients, but believe them to be pretty good. They have a wintergreen taste. 2 mints kept me going all afternoon. And I like the convenience of slipping them into a pocket instead of carrying around a can of something that gets warm before I can finish it. To each his own, I guess.
Since you’re not a sunflower seed eater to begin with, I have to add that Sumseeds are very, very good sunflower seeds. Anyone who likes sunflower seed can testify to the inconsistency of cheap, bargain bag sunflower seeds.
Sumseeds are very highly quality – I’ve eaten a whole bag and not had a single “bad seed.”
Gotta try the Mojo Mints.
I do not know what planet the guy who reviewed the mojo mints is from! Sounds he was having a bad day and took it out on the mints. I’ve had mojo mints and they are great! Wintergreen flavor but best of all they work! A few people I know who have also tried them are sold as well.
sobriety, is;
overrated
I know how lame it is to comment on my own post, but I just read it over and realized that I got pretty loose with the commas. Like, ridiculously loose. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just want to apologize in case that annoys any of you as much as it annoys me. I’m gonna try to reign that in. Maybe some proof reading or maybe writing while sober. I’ll think about it.