Citrus Crunk!!! Energy Drink
“The energy drink market is a tough place to try to thrive in. It’s fast paced, cut-throat, flashy, and some might even consider it an art. So much goes into the presentation that companies scramble to put together the right ingredients, never-mind the ghastly slogans they throw together last second. Joining the leagues of “art” inspired by life comes Crunk!!!. The energy drink with enough exclamation points to kill a small animal…
Obvious insults aside, this is my honest review, no bias or bs. The Crunk!!! can has all the bells and whistles you’d expect after finding what it’s named after. For a quick refresher, Crunk is a specific genre of hip-hop with repetitive “club friendly” beats, a term that in recent years has been adopted by rappers to mean the combination of crazy and drunk. Off to a good start Crunk!!!. Who would ever think to corner the crazy drunk segment of the energy market?
Now back to the can, 16 fl. oz. of vibrant yellow, speckled green, mysterious black, and a little silver (just for bling) all contribute to a youthful eye-catching design. I really can’t complain about this appeal after going back to energy drinks being an “art”, something about “eye of the beholder”?
Crunk!!! is really a mixed bag and I’m not sure where to begin. Let’s start with the flavor. The Crunk!!! manufacturers genuinely tried to capture a true Lemon-Lime flavor, even going as far as adding “real lemon lime juice”. Smart move and it shows. Drinking Crunk!!! is like biting a lemon without the sour bite, which is surprisingly more natural than I expected but with one minor downside, I can barely stand to finish the can. You win some you lose some.
There is one saving grace to Crunk!!! that nobody could have anticipated, it packs one hell of an assortment of plants. Starting off the list is Green Tea Leaf, Guarana (97mg worth of caffeine), and Ginseng, from there things just start to get a little weird. Next comes Damiana (a Spanish aphrodisiac), Licorice, Horny Goat Weed (aphrodisiac), Grape Seed Extract, Skull Cap (mild sedative), White Willow Bark (anti-inflammatory), Milk Thistle, and to top it all off Ashwaganda Root (sedative and aphrodisiac). Wow, I just drank a forest and didn’t realize it. Talk to me again in 15 minutes and I’ll either be asleep or extremely aroused… maybe both?
So now that the rainforest has been thoroughly farmed and I’m significantly wired, there’s not much left to say. The very idea of this product pissed me off from the start, it was blunt, overpowering, flashy, and highly annoying. Yet, you’re reading the words of a convert. The effect of Crunk!!!’s ingredients left me feeling entirely apathetic to my previous displeasure and it ended up being a love/hate relationship. The Southern Rap culture has long been known for it’s use of Sizzurp. An abomination of medicated cough syrup and lemon lime soda that can leave users feeling a little more than buzzed.
It’s fitting Crunk!!! would sit at the footsteps, providing a small taste for the rest of us, even if that taste is somewhat repulsive. Sadly, though this product is out, I have yet to find it on a regular basis. If you’re really desperate you can always try their Online Store and get a 24 pack for $2 a can.
Overall Score (3.5/5)
Review by Josh (blog: Cubicalism & Coffee)
i just saw the pomegranate flavor Crunk!!! today at a gas station and figured i’d give it a shot. i was surprised that it actually tasted good, not supplemental at all. the first thing i noticed, as well, was the multitude of plants listed around the can that you don’t normally see. despite it’s embarrassingly loud red can basically labeling me a poser, i will definitely drink it again, and try the Citrus version as well.