Battery Energy Drink
It was my sophomore year of college that I first realized the true utility of energy drinks. Like a peasant without a religion, I embraced the promises of a turbocharged lifestyle, void of the horrible taste of coffee.
Just as most energy drink beginners, I started with Red Bull and Monster. It didn’t take me long to realize Red Bull was not worth the price, and Monster became my collegiate teat. Yes, I said teat. I lived off Monster that year. It rang in the dreaded morning classes and christened the late night study sessions.
So what did I do? I bought 50 cans in bulk for the whole year. I finished all but 10 of them, not because the year ended, but because the taste and smell of the drink soon came to reliably induce a nice little feeling called nausea. For the following year, drinking Monster would leave me looking for a toilet to vomit in. This, thankfully, has subsided. But to this day, though, 3 years later, the smell still makes me shutter.
I got the opportunity to drink a Battery Energy Drink the other day and upon opening the boring black bottle (WHY ditch the awesome look of the can?!), I was greeted with the undeniable smell of Monster. I promise I’ve done my best to ignore the initial gag response, and I strived to taste the drink for all it’s worth without bias.
Taste
Monster Jager Bomb. You’ve heard of Jager Bombs I’m sure. Part energy drink, part Jagermeister alcohol. Together, they obliterate your inhibitions. Jagermeister has a distinctive black licorice taste and this is undeniably present in Battery. So, simply, this drink tastes like regular Monster with a moderate hint of black licorice. I was fine with the Monster taste. Personally, I can’t stand the taste of black licorice so this drink was not a pleasant experience for me. Maybe it will be for you.
Ingredients
Gee, I’d love to write a little about the drink here, but the ENTIRE ingredients list does not contain one English word! Wonderful. According to the website, the main energy ingredients in this drink are caffeine, taurine, maltodextrine, guarana, and b-vitamins. The only portion listed on the site is for caffeine. There are 320mg of caffeine per 100 centiliters (AKA 1 liter). Wowzerz, right? Riiggghhht too bad this drink only contains 45 CL, equating to a not-so-special 144mg of caffeine. That 320 number seems like more of an advertising gimmick to me, just state the applied facts please and spare us the math!
Energy
Thankfully, there’s apparently more to this drink than caffeine. What this drink lacks in taste and English-speaking-consumer friendliness it makes up for in energy. I got a very quick boost in energy that lasted for 3-4 hours, I admit I was fairly impressed.
Verdict
If you come across this drink, I’d say it’s worth giving a try. Whether you’ll like the taste is a toss-up, so I’m not going to suggest you go out of your way to track this drink down. Unless you’re a black licorice gobbling, Jagermeister guzzling fiend, that is.
Reviewed by Dusty Smith
8 Comments
They still make the can but now they offer the larger resealable bottle. I agree that it offers more kick than expected.
Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!
Thanks, TNT! Glad to hear I’m not the only with that problem.
ed, thanks to you as well 
Ya I figured the bottle was because it offered more content, to which I’d say just make a bigger can. If they want the container to be refillable, then a bottle with the same color scheme would have been best IMO.
I guess I am really one of the only people that likes the taste of Monster. The “horrible taste of coffee”? That one I don’t get.
Evan, I was telling my personal story, and I can’t stand coffee
Man, can I relate to this site…Amp it up and let’s get a Jolt and let the Monster out! Here’s my thing…bought some Jolt gum and I think the stuff ought to be a controlled substance for kids…it’s one thing to hit them with the mountain dew, but if they figure out the chewing gum will keep them going, we will have even more problems as the kiddies grow. As for me? Burning out quickly, but with increased awareness…
hey i tend to agree that Battery is the energy drink which actully gives you that real kick when you need it. It works better than the others I have tried.The name says it all…
HERESY, Battery is consumed due to the heavenly taste, no one cares about the energy / “kick” factor in it.
out of interest how much does one can / bottle cost outside of finland , here the standard price is 2.25e / 2.90e
Nice one, Dusty. I feel your pain on the Monster taste. Any of their drinks besides the Java stuff pretty much gives me an instant headache.
I’ve heard about Battery and thought the can looked cooler too.