Neuro Drinks: “Functional Beverages”
Just the other day I received the biggest box of Crayons I’ve ever seen in the mail and it said “Adult Formulas” right on the box. I dunno… thought you may be interested in hearing about it. Read on if I’m right.
Neuro, a progressive beverage company, has graced me with some deeply intriguing drinks. I’m not reviewing them here quite yet. I’m still demoing the product and I think there’s plenty to talk about before even trying the beverage.
You see, with energy drinks we excel at taking shortcuts around sleep, we demand productivity. We are the masters of time management. But what about life’s other downfalls? Like wanting to kill your boss? The Freshman 15? Poor sex drive? Stupid decisions? Insomnia? Neuro Drinks says leave it to energy drinks to avoid sleep, but come to them when you’re ready to deal with the rest of your problems.
Like I said, I received a big box of Crayons. Each Neuro drink has a different color pointed cap and I have 6 of them: NeuroBliss, NeuroSporti, NeuroSonic, NeuroSleep, NeuroTrim, and yep, NeuroGasm. Let’s look at the bottle description for each trim:
- NeuroBliss: Mood Enhancement
- NeuroSporti: Fitness Enhancement
- NeuroSonic: Mental Performance
- NeuroSleep: Sleep Enhancement
- NeuroTrim: Weight Loss Support
- NeuroGasm: Sexual Performance
Taken all at once, you’ll bring the right person home, put on a great show in bed, and lose weight while immensely enjoying yourself. Oh and you’ll sleep good too. Has this all gone too far? Or is it the beautiful future of energy drinks?
Let’s say, for now, that each of these drinks work perfectly. Stepping from that assumption, we could assume that the product will be wildly popular. Now, what has happened to us at that point? Do we really need this much help? Feeling down? Drink this. Bad grades? Drink this. Too fat? Can’t sleep? You get the idea. Granted, we’re well down this road with energy drinks. But my question still stands, how far is too far when it comes to beverage cooler content?
With so much energy drink market pollution, we can only expect that drinks like Neuro Drinks will be the new hotness in years to come. Expect their full review soon. Sneak peek: NeuroBliss is a one-ticket ride to Cloud 9.
Written by Dusty Smith
5 Comments
Hi Dusty!
Neuro is actually a functional beverage line that falls more into the category of enhanced waters than energy drinks. There is only caffeine in 3 of the formulas (Neuro Gasm, Neuro Trim and Neuro Sonic) and it’s not a significant enough amount to fall into the energy drink category (about 2 cups of green tea).
Check out http://www.drinkneuro.com for more info.
I’m interested to see how you can really test NueroSporti and NueroTrim. And really interested in seeing how you keep NueroGasm PG. lol
I’m excited to see what you say about these things. It would be cool if they all actually worked, but I’m doubting it lol.
looking forward to the review
That sounds downright strange. Unsettling…yet intriguing. Alas, isn’t it always. I’m just not sure if I like the idea of my whole body’s dependence for life coming from a box of crayons.