Best Energy Drinks of 2009

2009 was another highly active and popular year for energy drinks.

The alcohol-mixer scene is exploding, health science seems to have found its home in the new fast-rising functional beverage category, the organic/natural push is stronger than ever, Chaser 5-Hour has attained legendary status, and creative innovation looks to be at an all-time high.

Energy Fiend has looked back on the year, and selected some major energy drink highlights for your reading pleasure.

Tongue’s Best Friend:  NERD

To quote back to my review: “It’s Mountain Dew, it’s green Hi-C, at times it could be neither of them. It’s the 21st Century ambrosia.”  Reflecting back on the all the energy drinks released this year, we honestly cannot think of a better tasting energy drink than NERD.

Eye Candy:  Rubyy

Rubyy has to be seen in person to truly appreciate its beauty.  The construction, design, feel and artwork that one experiences when holding Rubyy just scream quality and prestige.  Even better, the artwork reacts to ultraviolet light.

Best Effort:  Guayaki

Although their drinks may not be the tastiest or most effective out there, Guayaki put an astonishing amount of work into making sure their products leave the tiniest of footprints on our planet and ecosystem.  Not only are their drinks entirely organic and natural, but they go as far as donating portions of their profit to eco-friendly causes and even utilizing special economical shipping packages.

Most Innovative:  Bull Tonik

2009 was the year of innovation for the energy drink market, making this a tough decision.  Amidst caffeinated nuts, chips, syrups, soap bars, and all the other directions pursued by innovators, Bull Tonik cranked out a great product with their effervescent tabs.  Not only is the idea a first in the market, but Bull Tonik actually executed on the idea near-flawlessly.

Most Creative:  Harcos

At first, we were ready to give this award to Blood Potion.  Then we thought, no how about Mana Potion!  No, Health Potion!  Heck, let’s just admit it; Harcos, the company behind all of these products, has a seriously over-developed right brain.

Best Performer:  NERD

Rising from the shadows cast by the likes of Wired X: B12 Rush, Fixx Extreme Ultra Shot, and Spike Shooter is the undeniably useful energy offered by NERD.  Unlike those big names known for overloading your neurons, NERD treats you to a truckload of productive energy.  Drink a can of NERD and be prepared to perform miracles.

Best Shot:  .357 Magnum

This is the first shot that miraculously struck a balance between B-vitamins and caffeine.  Chaser 5-Hour is great, but it (and the plethora of copycat B-vitamin shots out there) has one flaw: low caffeine content.  .357 Magnum saw this shortcoming and corrected.  The result?  A fast-hitting boost that smoothly fades into a natural long-lasting aferburn.

Back to the Drawing Board: Cheetah Power Surge

Cheetah was the most disappointing “energy” drink to hit the Energy Fiend blog.  The drink has all the looks of a legit energy drink with a regal cheetah commanding the label and multiple energy benefit claims.  Much to our confusion, though, there is not one ingredient in the drink known to deliver energy (which, consequently, leaves the drink with zero power).  It doesn’t even taste good.  Ya, we’re stumped too.

Most Perplexing: Big Cock

This drink could have won many awards; Funniest Name, Most Sexually Suggestive, Most Bought Drink as a gag gift for your friends…etc… It’s called Big Cock.  Right there on the label in big letters.  Big Cock.  Enough said.

CopyCat: 4Kick

Their outrageous PR statements will attempt to tell you otherwise, but 4KICK energy drink is the biggest rip-off of the year, having far too many genomes in common with Red Bull.

Brightest Future:  Rip-It

Rip-It came out of nowhere swinging hard, and there seems to be not stopping them.  Innovation is still relentlessly carrying on and it’s becoming harder and harder to see a beverage cooler not stocking Rip-It.  If they stay true to their superb price-points, there’s no stopping Rip-It from finding itself rubbing shoulders with the likes of Monster and Rockstar.

Most unique experience: Neuro Bliss

We don’t know how Neuro did it, but they managed to bottle happiness.  Bliss jumpstarts your endorphins, plasters a healthy smile on your face, and buffs up your self esteem in just minutes time.  It’s something you just have to experience for yourself!

Made its own category:  Fixx Extreme Ultra Shot Packet

Fixx went ahead and redefined the upper limits of the energy drink market.  Extreme Ultra Shot is hardly practical on almost every account, and is guaranteed to shove your innocent reality into a supercharged woodchipper.  I keep a packet in my glove box to put in the gas tank whenever the car won’t start.

2009′s Very Best:  Rockstar Punched Guava

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again:  This drink is an untouchable contender for the best energy drink of all time.  Taken together, the flavor, energy, packaging, and value of Rockstar Punched Guava make it a bonafide, full-blooded energy drink.  To everyone reading this article: your energy drink lifestyle is not whole until you have consumed a bottle of Rockstar Punched (NOT Juiced) Guava.

Written by Dusty Smith