Howling Monkey is an energy drink that comes in three variants: Elixir, Energy Cola, and Sugar Free Energy Cola (sweetened with sucralose (splenda) and Ace-k).

The drink has been marketed virally and by word-of-mouth.

Howling Monkey has a lot more vitamins and minerals than most energy drinks including; B2, B3, B12, B5, Iron, Zinc, and Vitamin E.

Please note: Caffeine content of Howling Monkey is not listed on the label, nor is it listed anywhere on the website.

The only indication is from correspondence directly with the manufacturers who claim that the caffeine is "...comparable to Red Bull"

DISCONTINUED It appears this product is no longer available.

Everyone here at the EF branch offices have been all aflutter lately over the Howling Monkey. Not only because it's the greatest name we've heard since Lucozade, but also because they're so mysterious.

What is it?

I don't know, the website is so cryptic! It must be a puzzle, like the Da Vinci code.

Whatever it is, it worked. I'm a sucker. I've been looking to get my hands on some of this for a while now so, needless to say, I was exceedingly happy to see my dear friend and colleague Oz walk in with a bag of Monkeys the other day. I got one can each of the Elixir, the Cola, and the Sugar-free Cola.

Energy Fiend! Always on point, so here's a quick rundown:

First of all, I think the cans rock. They've got kind of an old-timey feel that manages to have some character without looking too contrived. I wouldn't go so far as to use the word hip, but they certainly seem to be well-received by everyone I've shown them to.

The instructions are illustrated right on the front to eliminate any confusion:

Fig. 1- Just your average workaday monkey--not terribly unlike you or me--looking pretty ordinary, if not a bit enervated. But wait, what's this?

Fig. 2- Drink it. It'll make you feel better.

Fig. 3- W00t!!!!!

Succinct. I like it.

Being that I was already pretty juiced up at the time, I opted to put those bad boys on ice (actually, in my backpack) until the next day. I wanted a clean system so that I might avoid tainting the purity of this wondrous, effervescent, simian delight.

So, the verdict: perhaps this was a case of unrealistic expectations. I liked it, don't get me wrong, but it was pretty average if you ask me.

The cola tastes just like cola. Now, I'm told that there's a difference between Coke and Pepsi and I can confidently say that Howling Monkey tastes just like one of them. I can't tell which. If you can, then you're drinking too much of that crap. Knock it off before you get diabetes.

The sugar-free cola tastes just like sugar-free cola. See above and, seriously, lay off the soda. At least Howling Monkey gives you some B vitamins and Ginseng with your pound of sugar.

The elixir was the most interesting of the group. It's quite tart--like, distractingly tart, but I know some people are into that--with an odd little bit of a caramel aftertaste. Very sweet though. Lighter in color than the cola. I liked it better than Monster, Rockstar, etc. I realize that's hardly a ringing endorsement, but still, I'm just saying.

Overall, the Monkey gets a thumbs up. I would probably buy this in the future. If I had to complain, I'd have to say that the buzz was average. Maybe a bit short-lived, but these things are so subjective.

The can says it's extraordinarily potent, which is a claim that I'd have to respectfully disagree with.

Potent, maybe. Maybe remarkably potent. Maybe slightly more potent than average, but certainly not extraordinary. Then again, I may be getting jaded.

Anyways, GIVE US THE FREAKING NUMBERS. The big fiend and I have been talking about this and he says he can't find any real info on this stuff. Luckily for you all, he's pretty knowledgeable and his guesses are pretty close. Look at how he nailed the infamous Redline mystery. So, he's on it. You Howling Monkey guys could help him out though. He's got enough crap to do as it is without having to reverse engineer your confounded drinks.

Recap: great name, great can, good taste, a little light on the, uh, "Revitalizing Blend".

There you go.