From the same country that brought us Big Cock energy drink comes two more drinks that are creating a bit of a stir down under. In fact, The National Council of Women in New Zealand is calling for their removal.

Miss Svenson’s Classroom Detention

This is what’s printed on the back of the can.

“Allo, My name is Miss Svenson an I come from Sweeeden. I love to do da spanky spanky with my big vwooden cane especially on all you nughty nughty little boyz. Za after schooul detention is my favourit as if i catch za boyz playin peek-a-boo at my peeky bits, Den they get a good spanky spanky on dere botty botty”

I doubt the contents are anything too flash, but just the standard energy drink as Big Cock was.

Miss Helen’s Massive Melons Energy Drink

This is what’s printed on the can.

“Miss Helen’s Massive Melons are always a favourite at the annual Bigball County Fair. Miss Helen is never shy in getting her big, plump, ripe, bouncy melons out for the lads and therefore has been the crowd favourite ever since she took over from her older sister Lucy who competed in the Big Juicy Peach Parade. Bigball County is tucked away in a damp little corner of Muffville Tennessee. Make sure ya poke your nose in next time ya looking for a good time. Ya’ll come back ya hear!”

Again, I doubt the taste will be as unique as the marketing.

I can see why women could possibly be offended with these two crazy energy drinks, however, I don’t think there was a single guy who protested Big Cock Energy Drink…. hmmm. Go figure.

What do you think of these two energy drinks? Keep it clean folks.

The can claims that just as nitrous oxide gives cars a boost of energy so will their nitrogen/CO2 mixture.

We’ll see, as most people would hopefully understand that nitrous oxide and nitrogen aren’t the same thing.

Taste

First of all, NOS is nothing like Monster Nitrous. There isn’t a foamy head when opening the can or a foamy texture. It just looks and feels in your mouth like a normal carbonated drink. However, that being said, the taste is good. It’s orange/citrusy and reminds me of a “juiced energy drink”. It has a slight energy taste, but hey, it is an energy drink after all.

NOS Ingredients

Nothing too out of the ordinary here. A 500ml can will deliver 59g of sugar, 160mg of caffeine, 1000mg of taurine, and just 8mg of both B3 and B5. It says that it contains nitrogen, but not how much. This is of little consequence anyway as nitrogen has no effect, we breath in 78% Nitrogen with every breath we take.

Effect

Ok, you know the effect you get when you consume any other 500ml energy drink with 160mg of caffeine and over 50 grams of sugar? Yeah, same.

Nos Verdict

This is marketing hype at its worst! Comparing nitrogen gas to nitrous oxide gas is ridiculous. Now when Monster tried this, we questioned it, but it turned out they were really using nitrous oxide gas in their product, however, clearly NOS is not. It’s a good tasting drink so buy it for that reason, but not because you expect a NOS boost in energy. It’s just not in there.

Reviewed by Ted

I was excited to see the new V Isokinetic Energy + Hydration beverage glowing green in the cooler of New World. Powerade, Gatorade, and Mizone have a pretty good market share in the sports hydration arena but they lack V’s trademark ingredient, guarana.

However, will just the addition of caffeine cause me to switch from my usual sports drink and reach for a V Isokinetic?

Taste

If you’re a fan of lemon and lime, then V Sports Energy Drink will be right up your alley. I found the drink to be quite refreshing. It has the normal uncarbonated, lightly sweetened taste of a sports drink with just the slightest taste of the energy ingredients finishing off the flavour, but it’s well within the pleasant tasting level.

Ingredients

The 600ml bottle of V Isokinetic  has the usual potassium and sodium of a sports drink but the bonus of 720mg of guarana, a splash of  B vitamins, and a caffeine content of 102mg.  V Isokinetic is about 150ml smaller than other sports drinks and it contains more sugar, no doubt needed to cover up the bitterness of the caffeine.

Effect

I was having a rough morning and my usual two cups of coffee just weren’t cutting it today so I was glad this was a “review day” ! V Isokinetic Sports Energy Drink, thankfully, took me to the next level of alertness and I feel much more with it. However, V Isokinetic is best enjoyed while doing some sort of physical activity because drinking it while sitting at my desk has just produced many trips to the loo!

Verdict

I think V Energy has produced a winner here and I would definitely reach for V Isokinetic again when I’m looking for a sports drink. It has a good blend of taste/energy/sweetness and V seems to do the trick. The only downside is V Isokinetic’s smaller size for your money but guarana doesn’t just grow on trees ya know…oh..wait..I guess it does.

Even though the lack luster performance of the NOS shot, I was excited to try NOS New Zealand’s take on the standard energy drink. I can’t say I’m too impressed with the can’s monochromatic design, but the black letters with “Triple X High Strength”, and “Supercharged Energy Fuel” do make me wonder if NOS really is “The New Breed”.

The can kind of also reminds me of the black and white “generic” food items that showed up in the USA supermarkets back in the 80′s, but of course most of you are too young to remember that…

Taste

Well, well, well, that’s a familiar taste…hmm could it be R– B—? Nah, it clearly says NOS on the can, but the flavor is what it is and it does work since it’s the number one drink on the planet and the most copied. The flavor’s nice, maybe a tad sweeter than the magenta bovine, but because of the hoard of clones out there, it’s generic like the looks of the can.

Ingredients

Despite the Triple X warning and the warning to only drink one NOS energy drink a day, I don’t see how this product will hurt anyone with only 160mg of caffeine in it. That’s like having a double shot Flat White and most people in NZ  have at least two of those a day. Some Taurine, Niacin and B5 complete the pretty meager energy line up. No Nitrous Oxide to be found.

Effect

I experienced a nice afternoon pick me up from NOS Energy Drink, but it nowhere near lived up to the promises on the can.

Verdict

Pretty generic experience with NOS energy drink overall, and I’m not sure this one will survive unless they really reformulate it so that it really is a new breed. I don’t know, at least nitrogenate the water to make it like Monster Nitrous or something. I just can’t think why anyone would choose NOS over the other well established energy drinks in the New Zealand market.

With Envy, Demon is using the 7 deadly sins as a marketing slogan which is a little familiar as SIN energy drink has launched the first of their 7 deadly sin inspired drinks as well in the USA.

Also, by reading the description on the can, they are trying to out do the “other green drink” here which is V energy drink. So we’ll see if Envy Energy Drink has the power to topple the New Zealand and Australia energy drink giant.

Taste

Maybe it was my preconceived notions from reading the can, but Envy tastes a lot like V original. It is a tad sweeter than Green V and has a tad more flavor, but essentially pretty similar. I guess Demon figured if the Green V flavor is so popular, then it wouldn’t hurt to mimic it and even try to improve on it.

I’m not sure it’s any better as I’m not a big fan of Green V or the flavor of Envy. This flavor doesn’t do a great job of covering up the mediciney taste of the energy ingredients.

Ingredients

Demon Envy has similar ingredients to the other varieties of Demon, but despite the claim of “a massive energy hit”, Envy actually has less of all the standard ingredients, except the same 160mg of caffeine per 500ml can.

Effect

Since my detox from caffeine awhile ago, I’ve been allowing myself to have the good stuff twice a week so I can continue to feel the full effect of the wonder drug. With this in mind, the effects of Demon Envy were quite noticeable and sent me from sleepy to euphoric in about fifteen minutes.

Verdict

Demon Envy energy drink will be a hit for those who are fans of Green V, but if you are looking for something new and exciting you’ll be disappointed by Demon Envy.

Illicit Cola made by Demon Energy is a cola drink with some deep dark secret ingredients from deep in the “darkest recesses of South America” and now available to you in New Zealand.

With their  girl about to kiss a girl, while a guy watches, suggestive website and a big as slogan “It’s good to be bad“,  I’m not sure what they’re selling, but I feel dirty none-the-less.

Taste

Ah…this is a hard one…Cola, seems to come to mind. Illicit isn’t as good as Coke, but has  good cola flavor with some other taste thrown in I couldn’t quite place. Wait, that must be the deep, dark secret ingredient!

Ingredient

Ok, I’ll cut to the chase. The sercet ingredient from South America is Yerba Mate which is why the flavor is slightly tweaked from standard cola. That’s really it and the caffeine content isn’t disclosed.

Effect

Illicit isn’t an energy drink, but a higher caffeinated soda. Something in this drink made my throat and esophagus feel strange which could have been the yerba mate as I haven’t had many drinks with that ingredient in it.

Verdict

Not a bad product as far as cola drinks are concerned, but Illicit in my opinion has gone a little overboard with the marketing of this drink. Come on, It’s just cola with yerba mate in it. It’s not illegal, forbidden, disapproved, unlicensed, or rebellious as the can defines.

Reckless Energy Shot is yet another shot to take a stab at getting some of New Zealand’s energy dollars. This 70ml shot promises to give me 6 hours of energy and encourages me to GO HARD or go home so I’ll be typing as hard as I can and then I’ll go home.

Taste

I threw back the orange blitz flavor of Reckless and it was pretty typical for a shot. It was sweet and orange with the not so pleasant artificial sweetener aftertaste. Wasn’t bad though, but of course the shot market isn’t known for awesome tasting products.

Ingredients

Reckless gets some kudos in this category because many of the shots I’ve reviewed here offer caffeine, taurine, and not much else. This shot gives you 2075mg of energy including 125mg of caffeine, 2500% of B6, and 833% of your daily B12. Among the other standard energy ingredients, Reckless energy shot gives you an enzyme blend.

Effect

This is where things can get interesting as there is debate on which is better; more caffeine or more B vitamins? Although Reckless only has 125mg of caffeine, I definitely feel pretty good after drinking it and I am typing HARD! I would say the energy is better than the NOS shot I reviewed a few weeks ago that boasted 250mg of caffeine, but no B6 or B12.

Verdict

If they would just get rid of the artificial sweetener as V Pocket Rocket did,  Reckless would be a top notch product. Will it last for 6 hours, well maybe for someone who has no caffeine tolerance, but the verdicts still out since I had mine an hour ago. So yeah, give it a go as Reckless energy shot is one of the better shots in the Southern Hemisphere.

I was stoked to see Rockstar Punched Guava in New Zealand stores because of the great review Dusty gave it a little while ago.

However, upon closer examination I discovered that it has a different formulation and not in the good way.

The can did create quite a bit of attention as I was sitting at the cafe eating lunch. People seemed to be amazed and strangely drawn to the huge, purple 500ml can sitting on the table.

Rockstar Energy has established a separate Australian Division to their Company and unfortunately for us has to adjust their drinks to conform to the caffeine regulations in AUS and NZ.

Taste

The good news is Rockstar Punched Guava has pretty much the same taste Dusty raved about. From the first sip I knew that it was a winner and with later gulps, I had to remind myself that I was drinking an energy drink…Yes, it is that good! Completely void of any mediciney taste whatsoever.

The only complaint about Rockstar Punched Guava would be that I found it a tad too sweet. It was great at first, but towards the end of the can the 83.5 grams of sugar was making my teeth hurt. Certainly not something you want to drink after having teeth whitening; caffeinated drinks already have a reputation for discolouring teeth!.

Ingredients

Ok, here’s the sad part. This version of Rockstar Guava only has 160mg of caffeine per 500ml while in the USA this energy drink has 254mg/500ml. Also, the down under version has no milk thistle. As for the rest of the ingredients they appear to be the same.

Effect

I’m sure you know the feeling, you have just eaten lunch and now you’re back to work fighting to stay awake at your desk, right? Well, drinking Rockstar Punched Guava with my lunch completely annihilated my desire for a siesta. I’m not crazy energized, but feel pretty motivated.

Verdict

My number one drink in New Zealand used to be Rockstar Juiced, but then last week Demon Killa Troppo toppled it from its throne. Now it seems I have a new contender in Rockstar Punched Guava. I guess it might come down to price when I’m forced to decide between the two.

Translation:

That was just for all of you in the rest of the world who might care to read this.

Now that you understand the name, you can guess that Killa Troppo is  Demon’s stab at the juice energy drink market. They’ve been working hard in New Zealand and Australia to establish themselves as an energy drink leader and they’re doing a good job, I must say and Killa Troppo is no exception.

Taste

Demon Killa Troppo tastes similar to Rockstar Juiced which is orange, mango, and passion fruit flavored. However, in the ingredients I see that apple and pineapple are thrown in there as well. Now listen closely…I’m a big fan of Rockstar Juiced, but Demon Killa Troppo is better! Did you hear me? Yes, a small company from little ol’ New Zealand has beaten an energy drink giant like Rockstar.

Ingredients

The one fault I have with juiced drinks is the use of sucralose (splenda) in them. Killa Troppo has none, it is just sweetened by the fruit juice and plain sugar! No wicked after taste and the right amount of sweetness. Along with the 60% juice you get 140mg of caffeine, taurine, glucuronolactone, inositol,  B2, B5, B6, and B12.

Effect

Despite the “parental advisory”, Demon Killa Troppo energy drink won’t send you soaring by any means unless you’re a light weight. However, it does offer a nice pick-me-up if you need something to get you through the afternoon or a long road trip.

Verdict

If you’re a fan of tropical juice, you’ll love Killa Troppo and although I paid $3.40 for the can at the dairy, Demon often has great deals on their products at the super markets.

Way to go Demon Killa Troppo!  You just replaced my number one go to drink in NZ, which used to be Rockstar Juiced…..

V is spending heaps of money to market their new energy shot, with wild TV ads showing guys with a rocket pack strapped to their back doing all kind of insane feats.

Also, V Pocket Rocket is showing up in stores everywhere. This is helped by the fact that V already has contracts with just about every supermarket, bakery, dairy, gas station, and convenience store in New Zealand.

Can this little green shot propel me to the stratosphere or at least to the top of the Auckland Sky Tower?

Taste

Ok, V Pocket Rocket, you are the first energy shot I’ve ever tasted that doesn’t use artificial sweetener, but just plain honest to goodness sugar! Thank you and although your shot was a tad bitter, I would choose that any day over the sickening sweet sucralose taste and its gross aftertaste that stays for ages.

Ingredients

V Pocket Rocket is basically a extremely condensed version of their V Original but with a lot less sugar. Did I mention it’s real sugar? Anywho, with a lot of  Kiwi and Aussie shots giving you a nice boost of caffeine and not much else, V stays true to it’s original formula and blasts you with 160mg of caffeine, 72mg of guarana, 500mg of taurine and a nice dose of vitamins B2, B3, B5, B6, and B12.

Effect

After about 10 minutes, I began to feel the full effect of V Pocket Rocket. It definitely pulled me out of my late morning doldrums and was much needed on a rainy, gloomy day such as this. I’m not bouncing off the walls, but my head feels clear and I’m ready to plug on for a few more hours.

Verdict

Energy shots such as V Pocket Rocket are a great way to get a quick boost of energy and V has done a good job with their entrance into the energy shot market. However, I think the $3.50 to $4.00 price tag for such a little rocket is a little over the top. V has a great reputation in the Southern Hemisphere so Pocket Rocket should do well. Now if they would just let me try that rocket pack out, it would be sweet as!