Review: Howling Monkey
Everyone here at the EF branch offices have been all aflutter lately over the Howling Monkey. Not only because it’s the greatest name we’ve heard since Lucozade, but also because they’re so mysterious.
What is it?
I don’t know, the website is so cryptic! It must be a puzzle, like the Da Vinci code.
Whatever it is, it worked. I’m a sucker. I’ve been looking to get my hands on some of this for a while now so, needless to say, I was exceedingly happy to see my dear friend and colleague Oz walk in with a bag of Monkeys the other day. I got one can each of the Elixir, the Cola, and the Sugar-free Cola.
Energy Fiend! Always on point, so here’s a quick rundown:
First of all, I think the cans rock. They’ve got kind of an old-timey feel that manages to have some character without looking too contrived. I wouldn’t go so far as to use the word hip, but they certainly seem to be well-received by everyone I’ve shown them to.
The instructions are illustrated right on the front to eliminate any confusion:
Fig. 1- Just your average workaday monkey–not terribly unlike you or me–looking pretty ordinary, if not a bit enervated. But wait, what’s this?
Fig. 2- Drink it. It’ll make you feel better.
Fig. 3- W00t!!!!!
Succinct. I like it.
Being that I was already pretty juiced up at the time, I opted to put those bad boys on ice (actually, in my backpack) until the next day. I wanted a clean system so that I might avoid tainting the purity of this wondrous, effervescent, simian delight.
So, the verdict: perhaps this was a case of unrealistic expectations. I liked it, don’t get me wrong, but it was pretty average if you ask me.
The cola tastes just like cola. Now, I’m told that there’s a difference between Coke and Pepsi and I can confidently say that Howling Monkey tastes just like one of them. I can’t tell which. If you can, then you’re drinking too much of that crap. Knock it off before you get diabetes.
The sugar-free cola tastes just like sugar-free cola. See above and, seriously, lay off the soda. At least Howling Monkey gives you some B vitamins and Ginseng with your pound of sugar.
The elixir was the most interesting of the group. It’s quite tart–like, distractingly tart, but I know some people are into that–with an odd little bit of a caramel aftertaste. Very sweet though. Lighter in color than the cola. I liked it better than Monster, Rockstar, etc. I realize that’s hardly a ringing endorsement, but still, I’m just saying.
Overall, the Monkey gets a thumbs up. I would probably buy this in the future. If I had to complain, I’d have to say that the buzz was average. Maybe a bit short-lived, but these things are so subjective.
The can says it’s extraordinarily potent, which is a claim that I’d have to respectfully disagree with.
Potent, maybe. Maybe remarkably potent. Maybe slightly more potent than average, but certainly not extraordinary. Then again, I may be getting jaded.
Anyways, GIVE US THE FREAKING NUMBERS. The big fiend and I have been talking about this and he says he can’t find any real info on this stuff. Luckily for you all, he’s pretty knowledgeable and his guesses are pretty close. Look at how he nailed the infamous Redline mystery. So, he’s on it. You Howling Monkey guys could help him out though. He’s got enough crap to do as it is without having to reverse engineer your confounded drinks.
Recap: great name, great can, good taste, a little light on the, uh, “Revitalizing Blend”.
There you go.
30 Comments
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Just want to add another find at Big Lots (Western PA area)…only found the Sugar-free cola thus far but hell, 60 cents a can, I’m all over it. Seem to be running out though.
If you have a Big lots around, that shit is like a treasure trove for energy drinks….Howling Monkey, Bookoo, Mad Joker, even the “I just licked a tree’s ass” Full Throttle mother is there…and some others, all 60 cents a piece.
the best great buzz no weird or hard come down great cola taste not thick or too sweet!!!!!!!!
Is this still out???, I love this stuff and all the places i know just randomly stopped selling them i use to get at least one every week day
I had a firefighter of mine drink this stuff on the Witch Fire in San Diego. Talk about a funny show. He was wired for the night and the next day crashed like a rock. We looked at the first page of the website and with the bubbles and bugs, he had flash backs!! That nite he couldnt sit still for anything longer than 2 or 3 seconds, and claimed there were things crawling on him.
It was the funniest thing we had seen in a long time. We are trying to find out where to buy this stuff around us so we can get the show again!!
I grabbed one at corner store and loved it, especially the $1 price tag…so I kept going back for more…but it’s all gone…the store manager has no idea who brought it or who would bring more, you can’t tease your audience and then walk out the door with no clues!? release date, contact info, ordering info, anything!
this really works. I’ve tried a most brands red bull, monster,amp ect… as i work 7 days a week and need sometimes and extra jolt to keep me going and I can honestly say after drinking one can I was given a such an energy boost that was beyond belief. I cant seem to find it any more as its been push off the shelves for a more expensive brands thta just have alot of sugar and less energy boost. If someone knows where to get it online let me know and ill stock up a couple of cases.
Love. The. Elixer. Found all 4 vareties at Big lots, 3.60 for a six-pack. Big Lots is THE best place to stock up on energy drinks WAY cheap and always has new stuff the try. The only problem is when you fall in love with a certain one and you know they’ll run out within a couple weeks…
I love this drink, just found it again at my local store after a few years of it being disappeared. amazing stuff this is.
Found at Big Lots (Boynton FL), Tried it, love the stuff.
I Live in Colorado and Big Lots is the only place Ive found the fabulous Monkey!!!! If only we could get MORE!! Can’t find it anywhere. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!