You Know You’re a Caffeine Addict When…
In the style of “You might be a redneck if…” jokes, here’s a batch about caffeine:
You might be a caffeine addict if:
- Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
- You don’t sweat, you percolate.
- You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You know from experience caffeine tablets don’t dissolve in cola.
- Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You see nothing wrong with using water joe to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
- The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
- Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house.
- You suck on a used coffee filter and grounds whenever the can runs out of coffee.
- You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.
- A cup of coffee before bed doesn’t keep you from falling asleep anymore.
- You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.
- You’ve ever used the airplane’s call button just to get a coffee refill.
- You dip espresso beans.
- You slip into a coma if you drink decaf by accident.
- You’ve given up sex, TV, and all forms of meat for Lent before, but STILL can’t make it 40 days without caffeine.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You go to the doctor because you’re afraid there might be blood in your Mountain Dew stream.
- You can name the five flavors of JOLT.
- You need a caffeinated beverage after lunch to avoid being cranky all afternoon.
- You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
- You have a website about caffeine.
Post any more you have in the comments.
23 Comments
Last Modified: August 14, 2011
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Woooow. I got 12 out of the 29 points there…
You have an IV of caffeine
You might be a caffeine addict if:
you RSS a caffeine related blog in order to refine your addction.
U might be a caffine addict if u snort pure caffine.(which i must say is awesome!)
You run a podcast dedicated to Caffeine and a high octane lifestyle!
…you open the door before people knock
…the nurse had to you a scientific calculator to take your blood pressure
…you haven’t blinked since wednesday
I put water in my coffee /preferably ice so I can drink it quicker.
But I alresdy know I am an addict.
You take a job at Starbucks for the free coffee.
if you find all this out about caffiene
You can name every type of coffee at Starbucks
If you comment on this website
You rub pure caffeine in your eyes because you saw that film and thinks it gets into your system faster.
…you honestly cannot be in public because you won’t stop telling fart jokes or singing Baby Got Back.
…whenever you dance, you look like a vibrator having a seizure.
…if it came down to it, you would choose coffee over food.
+
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it’s running.
You think all the comments on here are funny.
After you drank your coffee, you put water in the cup to get any residue left.
… When you make cold coffee so you can drink it like soda.
… When you have perfected making cold coffee.
… When your cold coffee tastes better and has more kick than anything Starbucks can do.
… When a pot of coffee a day is nothing.