Starbucks Barista Gets Angry: Yeah Me Too
The Starbucks Gossip blog has listed a truly impressive rant from a Starbucks Barista. The rant was posted on Craigslist which was then subsequently removed.
To all of you silly, sad caffeine addicts who line up like lemmings for your overpriced lattes every morning: there are some things you should know.
1. We are not your friends. We are usually not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly — because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don’t give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you’re doing because it’s a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they’re few and far between. If you have to think about it, you’re probably not one of them.
2. Oh, you work from home? We are not your water-cooler break. We may be the only humans you have interacted with for days, but do not expect us to be interested in your stupid home business or your racist, sexist, totally unfunny commentary. Get your drink and get out.
And it goes on…
…Quit bitching about the names of everything. Yes, there is a “tall” size. No, it’s not the smallest size – that would be the “short.” Somewhere along the line, it got dropped from the menu, but can still be ordered.
…and on…
Don’t… tell me how to make a drink. I know what goes into a mocha. You probably couldn’t make one if someone had a gun to your head.
Okay. I get the point. It’s time for someone to resign and get a different job - or go on a long holiday.
So… here’s my Starbucks rant.
Dear Starbucks,
I like my espresso. I like it made well. I used to get my coffee from a small and quirky independent coffee shop from a barista that did give a damn. In fact all three of the baristas that worked there just loved coffee. They loved drinking it, and they loved talking about it. And we got on famously.
Then one day you came to town Mr Starbucks. You bought up a huge corner location. It looked just like every other Starbucks outlet in about a million other places in the world. You arrived with your ridiculous portion sizes (yes including the inane “tall” which is actually the smallest on the listed menu). Your prices we’re so obscenely expensive that it was obvious I was paying for brand rather than product. With your buying power you probably get coffee cheaper than just about anyone else. But then, you’re greedy aren’t you?
Your barista looked up at me with a tired and bored gaze that was all too familiar. Now where have I seen that gaze before - that’s right - at McDonald’s. So I ordered some coffee. You made me hover around a small bar with a crowd of Starbucks groupies - the kind of people that walk around with their Starbucks takeout cup as if it were a badge of hip-ness.
You shouted at me when my drink was ready. I’m not deaf. I was only standing about a meter from you. But, that’s right, by then you’d already forgotten what I looked like.
Your coffee tasted like dishwater. Maybe it was a bad day, or maybe you were are bad barista. But at that price? You should have been serving it to me by the sip.
That quirky independent coffee shop? Well he decided to close his business about 6 months later. Maybe it was related to the huge Starbucks nearby - or maybe not.
I’ve never been back to you Starbucks. Despite seeing your brand virtually everywhere I look.
What is the attraction of drinking an overpriced coffee made by a barista that shouts at you?
Just last week I got my coffee from another regular joint. The barista was so obsessed with getting it right that she actually made me two different espresso’s and got me to pick out the best one — so she could get it right in the future.
That sort of service gets my heart a-fluttering (or perhaps that was the caffeine?)
Energy Fiend - Obsessed with caffeine good coffee.
44 Comments
Looks like I am defending Starbucks again. You do get real coffee at Starbucks. Some people bring home whole bean packs and grind at home. And you don’t have to order the milkshaky Frappucinos thingys. You can have REAL COFFEE.
And to the select few that are against Caffeine Fiend, just hold off on your comments. CF does lots of work and you can’t just say CF did or did not have a real job. THIS website here proves to me CF’s doing a real job. So to all, lay off on CF.
“frapalapachino” lol….Marry me
Starbucks gets cocky and pompous customers, give them a break. I’ve heard of people bitching that they want their “latte” with chocolate milk. hey dick faces, thats a mocha. The argument works both ways though. Just cause u work there doesn’t make u an all knowing corrective jerk off.
(remember, theres no “I” in team but there is a U in BUTTFACE)
This makes me appreciate my Starbucks Barista that much more. The ones at my local Starbucks are all very polite, and i always thank them for making my drink. I’ve never had a bad experience with a Barista. I think if you treat them well, they’ll be just as kind. I mean, those Barista’s cater for hundreds of people each day, but they remember me and my signature drink even if they don’t remember my name.
I personally love Starbucks, mostly for their customization options. Their coffee is decent, i’ve had far worse. i just think it’s hysterical i get branded as snobbish and pretentious because i know how i like my drinks. I raise my Venti, Seven-shot, upside down, iced soy caramel macchiato in your general directions =]
I say, its time Tully’s coffee kills off Starbucks.
Well Put Fiend, I can’t stand starbucks as an entity it only appears that they are finally getting to big for their own good. The first thing to go in a recession is the niceties, including people paying 3 bucks for a cup of burnt coffee.
Dark roast you say? hardly
I love your site, and check it often as a resource for my Caffeine Culture / Technology News Podcast The CaffiNation Podcast. http://www.caffination.com
Keep up the good work.
[...] Here’s one I got when I searched on “Starbucks” and “angry” [...]
My sister and I were frequent Starbucks customers-we are the nice people. The chick who has made our drinks the last few times was so busy chatting with her buddies and other customers coming in after us-and getting the mailman who came in after us his drink 1st that we wondered if she had forgotten us.
Well, she must have forgotten something-like maybe putting the whipped cream back in the fridge instead of leaving it out all morning long-we got food poisoning and suffered over 3 days with it!
After 4 years-no more Starbucks!
I hate starbucks, simply because they don’t make real coffee, as far as I’m concerned. If I want a damn milkshake, I’m gonna go somewhere and order a damn milkshake. I want coffee! I want 100% coffee! None of this frapalapachino crap they serve at starbucks!