Starbucks Barista Gets Angry: Yeah Me Too
The Starbucks Gossip blog has listed a truly impressive rant from a Starbucks Barista. The rant was posted on Craigslist which was then subsequently removed.
To all of you silly, sad caffeine addicts who line up like lemmings for your overpriced lattes every morning: there are some things you should know.
1. We are not your friends. We are usually not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly — because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don’t give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you’re doing because it’s a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they’re few and far between. If you have to think about it, you’re probably not one of them.
2. Oh, you work from home? We are not your water-cooler break. We may be the only humans you have interacted with for days, but do not expect us to be interested in your stupid home business or your racist, sexist, totally unfunny commentary. Get your drink and get out.
And it goes on…
…Quit bitching about the names of everything. Yes, there is a “tall” size. No, it’s not the smallest size – that would be the “short.” Somewhere along the line, it got dropped from the menu, but can still be ordered.
…and on…
Don’t… tell me how to make a drink. I know what goes into a mocha. You probably couldn’t make one if someone had a gun to your head.
Okay. I get the point. It’s time for someone to resign and get a different job – or go on a long holiday.
So… here’s my Starbucks rant.
Dear Starbucks,
I like my espresso. I like it made well. I used to get my coffee from a small and quirky independent coffee shop from a barista that did give a damn. In fact all three of the baristas that worked there just loved coffee. They loved drinking it, and they loved talking about it. And we got on famously.
Then one day you came to town Mr Starbucks. You bought up a huge corner location. It looked just like every other Starbucks outlet in about a million other places in the world. You arrived with your ridiculous portion sizes (yes including the inane “tall” which is actually the smallest on the listed menu). Your prices we’re so obscenely expensive that it was obvious I was paying for brand rather than product. With your buying power you probably get coffee cheaper than just about anyone else. But then, you’re greedy aren’t you?
Your barista looked up at me with a tired and bored gaze that was all too familiar. Now where have I seen that gaze before – that’s right – at McDonald’s. So I ordered some coffee. You made me hover around a small bar with a crowd of Starbucks groupies – the kind of people that walk around with their Starbucks takeout cup as if it were a badge of hip-ness.
You shouted at me when my drink was ready. I’m not deaf. I was only standing about a meter from you. But, that’s right, by then you’d already forgotten what I looked like.
Your coffee tasted like dishwater. Maybe it was a bad day, or maybe you were are bad barista. But at that price? You should have been serving it to me by the sip.
That quirky independent coffee shop? Well he decided to close his business about 6 months later. Maybe it was related to the huge Starbucks nearby – or maybe not.
I’ve never been back to you Starbucks. Despite seeing your brand virtually everywhere I look.
What is the attraction of drinking an overpriced coffee made by a barista that shouts at you?
Just last week I got my coffee from another regular joint. The barista was so obsessed with getting it right that she actually made me two different espresso’s and got me to pick out the best one — so she could get it right in the future.
That sort of service gets my heart a-fluttering (or perhaps that was the caffeine?)
Energy Fiend – Obsessed with caffeine good coffee.
46 Comments
French Connection Starbucks
Lol, Thats why I treat the people at starbucks the way they deserve, I order, pay, get my coffee, and leave.
Gotta love living in a town with 3 starbucks and about 15 indipentently owned coffe shops.. 
We support our own where I live.
people in starbucks dont know how to make drinks they always screw it up
I have only had to complained once, and that was because I ordered a Venti and got a Grande. I think everyone would be better off just ordering off the menu instead of making up stuff…”soy this, no sugar that, extra shot this, less flavor of that, it’s too hot/its too cold, where’s my whipped cream/eeew it has whipped cream, it should be kosher…etc.” I could go on and on. The addition/subtraction of one or two things is okay, but making a drink that takes five minutes to tell the barista how to make is crazy.
I’m a student in a small college town. There is a breakfast place in town, open 24 hours, something like a Waffle House or Huddle House. Basically, it’s a locally owned hole-in-the-wall. It’s called Pancake City – the college nickname is shiddy’s, cause most people go late after they have partied hard and their speech is impaired. I’ve never been there drunk, mostly because I never drink, and I still think it’s great.
I would rather get a cup of coffee at Pancake City than a Starbuck’s any day of the week – because it tastes better there and I don’t feel like I just walked into an advertisement for IKEA.
JW – i think this audio clip expresses your sentiments exactly:
http://media.1057thepoint.com/av/audio/thom-jeff/coffee-psa_01.mp3
You can’t have a discussion of Starbucks without a reference to Foamy! Somehow, the mass-market coffee concept has made it into several Foamy animations… with devastatingly hilarious results.
Other useful tidbits: Foamy is an overcaffeinated squirrel. Some (if not most) of the animations are decidedly NSFW.
Dear Starbucks,
I live in a pretty big town. Heck, you probably have about two dozen locations.
Here’s the good news: You are not only the only option in this town. We actually still have those quirky little shops still. The lovely thing is that they are not only surviving your invasion, they are thriving.
I personally do not frequent your pay-per-hour wireless, your soak-em dry attitude. In fact, just walking through a door with your green logo emblazoned on it makes me feel dirty. I love my local coffee shop. Heck, I live upstairs. I met my fiance there, and, in a few months, will marry here in the large side room in a coffee themed wedding. I know the owners by first name. I know all of the baristas, also by first name. The quirky gay one, the quirky outdoorsy one, the goth girl, and the like. We have our regulars. And, a few blocks away in the “trendy” district is the closest Starbucks. No regulars, no people who hang out.
Just like the McDonalds that closed on the East Side.
Starbucks is not the place to hang out. You might as well switch them all to drive-thrus here. Would save you money.
So, all-in-all, I have a feeling that although the Yuppies keep you afloat here, you will continue to miss out on the culture of this place because of your corporate flavor. And lack of coffee flavor.
I’m tall. Your smalls are not.
-Coffee Lover
@Ella – Does it really matter if there are nice Starbucks baristas?
The coffee stinks and the company represents the worst of corporate McDonalization.
One on every corner, one on every corner, one on every corner…
I totally agree with this post. I hate starbuck’s coffee. Though I have no complaints with the stores and the people there, it’s just the coffee I really hate. It just smells really nice, but when you taste it, it just really sucks. And I don’t know what they use for milk. I get diarrhea more than half the time I’m forced to get coffee there.
@caffeinedream That was hilarious! But it’s the truth.
@sim Most coffee is nasty with is is extra fine ground and dark roasted…that’s what lattes and sugar is for. And the diarrhea thing, I have heard that drinking too much coffee can cause that.
Well, well, well… I don’t know if I’m offended or coming off of a caff high, but Starbucks at least is caring about trade and environment. I’ve been to the independents and they waste so much. Styrofoam cups and goofy lids that don’t seal right. Starbucks is conscious about the World, and god forbid, someone cares. Yes, there are baristas that don’t give a rat’s ass about you and yours, but these people are from the new school of people that don’t know what work is and just luckily got the job. Don’t give up on Starbucks, just yet.
Don’t drink it, who cares? If I could find a chai frappacino somewhere else I might be tempted to go there. I don’t drink coffee. I don’t drink Coca Cola from a dispenser/fountain either. It is never right. Who cares? No matter where you go you will find people who are pleasant and people who aren’t.
But, think about it, I am paid to do my job. My job includes listening to people who often have no one else to listen to them. They deserve the same respect and treatment as my family or yours. Think about it.
Awesome. Another reason I always choose Dunkin’ Donuts over Starbuck’s any day.
i work at starbucks and i hate the coffee they serve, it tastes terrible. all my co workers feel the same. starbucks coffee is made to taste the same at all jazillion locations because that is the way the american public likes it.
perhaps we are sometimes rude, but mostly to those who order a tall in a grande, half decaf, 2 pump sugar free vanilla, 1%, 185 degrees, no foam, double cupped-latte.
seriously, it gets annoying.
i dont make coffee, i push a button and the machine makes the coffee.
i love my local coffee shop, where they dont even serve a 20 oz drink jammed with 400 calories.
so next time you go to a starbucks remember all the shit we have to produce, and after we make it, no matter if we follow the recipe or not, it will still taste like crap.
its all the chemicals.
oh and about starbucks caring….yea there’s the ethos water and the CAFE trading, but what about the tens of sandwhiches we toss each night, or about those sleeves for your hot cup? what about the boxes of plastic we go through, or the toxic chemicals we clean top to bottom with, the kind that leave your hands barbed. i’ve dumped gallons of ’spoiled’ milk, expired coffee, and tea. its discusting the amount of food that is wasted at starbucks..
but we do donate all the pastries to a homeless shelter…making ‘em fat to survive the winter.
@chex – Don’t know if you’re for real, but it doesn’t surprise me if these are true.
Starbucks wants to look environmentally friendly, cause that’s all that the middle-class white American really wants, an illusion of helping people, if the illusion is all that’s required, why go the whole hog?
Support your local coffee shop, bring your own mug, and don’t passively give in to the big corporations!
Maybe I’m just a superficial upper-middleclass suburbanite and enjoy Starbucks… As for the loaded calorie drinks Starbucks, there are alternatives, like regular coffees, teas and juice in the cooler section. And you can “choose” to forgo the pastries. It’s all about choice.
There are Starbucks Baristas that care. There are many that care an awful lot. I guarantee you that more than one Starbucks Barista would have also made you a choice of drinks so you could figure out which one was the best. Everyone gets jaded with their job from time to time. It sucks that you went to a Starbucks that had Baristas that didn’t care, but it’s not all like that.
And, c’mon. Starbucks isn’t a hell of a lot more expensive than most local mom’n'pop type coffee shops. The local shop might charge $2+ tax for a small, plain, regular latte. The Starbucks down the street charges what, $2.30? A large cup of regular coffee at the local shop (or hell, even at a McDonald’s drive-through) is going to run you somewhere between $1-$2, including tax. A Starbucks large cup of coffee is around $2. The “purely outrageous, nastily huge” price is just something that people default to when they can’t think of something else to bitch about. Try Starbucks again. You never know, you may be pleasantly surprised.